Hello, my name is Anonymous,
I have been a Christian all my life.
I have been raised in a faithful confessional Lutheran home. I attended Lutheran parochial schools for most of my education. I have done plenty of reading of good Lutheran writers.
I love the church, her people, her Divine Service, her music, her heritage.
I have been very involved in the life of the church: music, church council, conventions, all that stuff.
I am convinced that the Lutheran Confessions are the clear exposition of Scripture. I have been confident that, in baptism, God has chosen me, a lost and condemned sinner, to be His child and has given me faith, through the work of the Holy Spirit. I have trusted in the miracle that, in the Lord’s Supper, the Lord Himself is bodily present in the sacrament to give me forgiveness and life.
I’m a Confessional Lutheran.
For a few years now, I’ve struggled with the core tenants of faith. And those doubts have been getting worse. And we’re talking about basic things like: there is a God, there is something beyond the natural world we see around us.
I worry that there is no supernatural at all, that all religion is antiquated cultural garbage, and that Christianity is bullshit.
It’s gotten so bad that I feel I can hardly go on anymore.
So, I’m having to tackle my struggles head-on. I’m diving head-first into everything — all the arguments, the reasoning, the evidence — in hopes that I can find clarity. Either, I’ll emerge stronger in my Christian faith, or I’ll come out as atheist.
You have an opportunity to join me.
I’ll lay out my biases at the start: I don’t want to be an atheist. I want to be a Christian. I don’t want to abandon the comfort of the Christian Gospel. I don’t like the thought of an atheist worldview that seems so dark, depressing and random. But, if one set of beliefs is a myth, and the natural world is all there is, then why should I continue living in a delusion?
I feel like my rational mind is pulling me away from Christianity, against my will.
God help me.